Reminiscence. Friends. Growth

I was reminiscing few hours ago. I remembered the time I had in high school, and I compared and contrasted with that of university.

Both are definitely different. I'm not talking about academics, but social life.

People who have known me since elementary, middle school, or high school will find me a happy person all the time. It is true, I was happy and somewhat airy. But, like any other adolescent, I didn't have all so fabulous time in high school. No, I was not depressed; I just want to clarify that I did somewhat struggled to associate with my peers. I did not associate or hang out with people I didn't like, thanks to my observant quality and good judgement. Yet, that did not prevent me from hateful comments or rumors against me.

I tried really hard not to let those comments affect me, but it was really hard when things were so obvious and that I can point things out easily. I was somewhat self-conscious of my actions, behaviour, words, and many more. I felt I started to be about pleasing people, which let to some discomfort.

While I was in high school, I was really positive that I was a very approachable, warm, kind-hearted boy, but yet there were some peers, students, teachers, and faculty members who expressed some disatisfaction or distaste against me. I actually felt that I had social problems, as if I was a distant, cold, mean-hearted person.

But thank goodness high school was only four years. Ever since coming to Canada, I've learned and grown to be a better person. Quebec was my first stop and I made lots of friends, same with Toronto and again in Sherbrooke. I've learned I was not the one who had problems. I made friends easily and people are happy to see me. It's not my problem that people don't like me. That's their problem. With this in mind, I have rebuilt and regained the confidence I had lost.

I'll be going back to Taiwan, and I will visit Morrison, since I was there for 12 years. I know there will still be some people who did not like me, and not surprisingly they will be talking things about me. Wether they are good or bad, I don't care.

I'm only visiting the Morrison I know, which only includes the people I care and those who cared for me.

Lo Quiero Actualmente?

I just went over my exchange application today. It's really somewhat a hastle. I need departamental confirmation, but with the strike it's really really hard to get a hold of the academic people, since all academic activities are suspended. And so far, ha, a lot of the administrators or secretaries aren't very student-friendly, which means I will have a problem getting a hold of those directors or advisors.

In addition to that, let's say if I do get to go to Spain, well, more questions pop up:

Where do I live? Residence or share an apartment with strangers? How do I find it?

Do I need to open a bank account? What will I need to do it?

How will I adjust to the lifestyle?

Will I find other Canadians or English-speaking people who are like me?

How much will I spend?

What do I do once my year is over: move back to Canada or travel? For how long?

What will happen to me? Will I enjoy my time?

Will I be able to face the biggest challenge I have up to this point of my life?

Con estas preguntas, tengo miedo.

Do I really want this?

Do I really want to spend time and money for this when I have so many concerns and when so many things need to be considered?

People see the good side of this experience, but bad things can happen too! If something bad or wrong happens, um, it's not like my good friends are easy to contact or available to listen to me.

But, as Spanish always say:

Qué será,

Será.

I can only go ahead and finish the application.

B.U.M. Energy. Deseos. Book Eater.

I have been such a bum these days since the strike. I have no motivation. I have four papers that are supposed to be due during this period, but I've only finished one, well, almost one. I hate this feeling. I am actually starting to stress out. Yes, I sound stupid, but really I do. I don't know when the strike will end, and when it does, DUN DUN DUN, all papers are due at the same time!!! Not good. I really want to start, but what's the point when you have the feeling that this "vacation" will continue for like... eternity? Really, this isn't great, but I MUST. MUST. MUST do it!

Other than that, I've been back to the GYM!!! I am happy! It's so good to keep my heart rate up and gain energy! I just like to be in a closed space where I don't have to worry about time, and where I see everyone is working, working, working, serious about their act, and no fooling around.

Additionally, I've been working on my exchange and internship application for next year and the following summer, respectively. I hope I get to go to University of Valencia for internship AND for exchange. That would mean that I'll be live in Spain for a year! A year! Just enjoying life and the sun and partying along with speaking and improving my Spanish. I can't wait. I am really excited. I hope the interview can be now so I can just get it over. I have some feeling that I have a great chance to get it. Professor Martinez and Fonseca have assured me, and my other friends in my classes are confident too. I hope it comes true. That would be such a life experience! Even if only one or neither come true, well, what can I say? I still need to move on, however disappointing it will be. But that just mean that I can still take some courses I like here at York and be more active with student clubs. We'll see.

(But I do want to go to Valencia!)

I also am reading books. I just finished reading The Notebook. I'm currently reading Penguin's Book of Canadian Short Stories. It's actually really nice to read. I'll just read a story a day. I'm also catching up on my university readings, especially political theory. Honestly, the professor is good, but the material is dry, dry like a pretzel, like turkey white meat. Who cares what Socrates said? Why should we study Plato and Aristotle when it is so evident and clear that their theories are so flawed? Sigh, I'm never into those abstract ideas. Additionally, I'm going to read Sense and Sensibility, The Da Vinci Code, The Silence of the Lambs, and The Subtle Knife. Yes, that's a lot, but hey who says I can't finish them?

Most important thing I'm doing now is planning to go back to Taiwan. I haven't been back for one and a half years. Though just back for three weeks, I am still excited. I can't wait to see family members, friends, and the environment I grew up. I've been told that so much has changed. It's really interesting how things can change in a short period. Most importantly I am escaping from the cold! Yes, hot hot sun. Warmth. Heat. Lovely. Hope to see all the ones I care.

Salut

Bonjour.

C'est moi.

Olivier.

J'ai déjà fait le blogging avec le Xanga, mais je pense que c'est une bonne idée que je le fais encore avec autre blog.

C'est une nouvelle expérience, je pense.

Bon, ce blog est sur de ma vie universitaire à l'Université York.

Vous peut-être me demandez, "Pourquoi écris-tu en français lorsque tu étudies en anglais?"

Je sais pas. Pour moi, j'aime parler et écrire en autre langue. Je connais aussi l'espagnol, le chinois, et le taiwanais. Parfois, je peut-être écris en une des langues quand je veux.

Merci de lire ce blog.

Je retournerai avec autres choses, comme des photos et des histoires.

À plustard.