2008 Revisited

As 2008 comes to an end, I have been remembering all the things that happened this year. I will be breaking this period into different sections.


The Rat


Although Chinese New Year was later in February, I remember I was walking back to residence when I bumped into my Spanish professor, asking me about Chinese New Year. I told him it was the year of the rat, and he asked me the significance, which I didn't know at all; hence I made up stuff. I said the rat is the head of the 12 animals of the Chinese Zodiac so it is like a new beginning. And honestly I didn't believe the things I was saying.

Later in October I met Martinez again, and I was surprised that he remembered the things on Chinese New Year I'd told him. He asked me whether this year was a good beginning as I had preached. It was.


Start


I didn't get along with my roommate so I moved out to a new residence in December 2007. A month later they were hiring porters (just people at the front desk). I applied and got it with 3 other people. It was the first paid job I had. I got to make new friends though I was sad that I wasn't as close with my friends in my old residence.


Trauma


I felt things were getting better as I was excited to visit my sister. But the most unexpected thing happened. I didn't tell a lot of people about this, but I survived a very horrifying car accident. I won't go into details what specifically happened, but in summary I suffered memory loss of the accident and a pretty big concussion and other not so great things. These things kind of haunted/traumatized me that I was almost in clinical depression.


Loss


But with the help of friends and family, I was able to come out of that sad state. However, I believe that a week or two after I have recovered, I was informed by my teacher Mrs. Moore that my friend Shane, who left Morrison in 5th grade, died of an accident. The moment I read the words "has past away," was as if so suddenly a spear penetrated from the back that I had no time to feel the pain. I was really really in denial. I had lost contact with him so many years but I finally found him through Facebook in senior year of highschool. I was very amazed to learn that he had a band and had written songs. And they were pretty good! I listened to them very often. Just when I wanted to learn and hear more from him, he left. It's all too soon. Thinking back to the moment I received the news still stings me.

Just as I was still mourning and struggling over this loss, I was informed of another friend who died of an accident: Jeni. She too left Morrison early, in 3rd grade, and I've lost contact with her for over ten years. It was last year too that I found her on myspace and facebook, but I didn't ask her much about her life. Through her photos I can tell that she was enjoying her life and ambitious about her future. She has always been that girl, even in elementary. It too was very sudden.

They were too young to leave this world. I know people will have to leave this world soon, but not that early. They had so much potential, talent, and ambition for life. It's so sad and heart-breaking that they left without fulfilling or achieving their dreams and goals. It was too overwhelming. Even now I sometimes want (to believe) this loss is an illusion.


Landmark


My life had to continue, despite my great desire for it to stop for a little bit to reflect. I moved into my friend's house for the first part of the summer just to take summer school. My friends subletted their rooms to other people, so I was living in a house with 4 strangers. I was a bit concerned, but it turned out that we got along pretty well. I was told things were a bit rough after I left. I guess I'm a great harmonist.

I set off for Sherbrooke, Quebec. Before deciding, I wasn't sure if I want to do the Explore Program again. Thank goodness I chose to do it. In addition to my improved French, I learned more on gaining optimism back to my life. Making friends from different age group, background, and regions, can help you learn a lot about life and yourself. I learned to appreciate the talents and qualities I have.

After the program, I travelled to Montreal, Ottawa, Kingston, and Niagara Falls before going straight back into residence in Toronto. It was a bit of a challenge travelling by myself, especially with my entire closet. I needed to relax and enjoy before the school year can challenge me. I was happy I did.


Return


It's always good to be settled. I was really thrilled to get on the bus back to Toronto and settle in my residence room immediately. Of course, seeing familiar faces is a major bonus. However, seeing new faces is great too. Made new friends in residence, in new classes, in new student clubs, while enriching old friendships, like going clubbing (finally) for birthdays and sharing them my summer stories and new dreams.

Yet, things can't always be that smooth right? Yup, the notorious strike happened. There hasn't been any updates, but I hope it can come to an end in 2009.


Learned


People say 18 is when you transition to reach true adulthood, but they never say how hard it can be. Maybe that's why the legal adult age in most areas of Canada is 19? Just a thought. Thank goodness I survived 18 (pun intended), and I have some thoughts I've developed after reflection.

People Do Care

Whoever said that people in university don't care (*COUGHSENIORTOPICSCOUGH*) is UNDISPUTEDLY WRONG. People DO care. It's a matter of your choice and the people you want to share your thoughts. When I was down, I did feel like people didn't care, but I had to take a risk and trust some of my friends that they will listen, care, and provide some insight. Some did and didn't; the ones that did are my very close friends now. There's nothing wrong making many friends, but choose wisely for some can take without return.

You Can't Fake It

I came across this phrase when I was attending a session at the career center. The presenter was talking about authentic conversation with a stranger. If you are not interested or don't have the knowledge in the topic of the discussion, don't even try squeezing out a drop of interest or digging out two cents: you just don't have it so stop. Be and stay true. People can tell when you're faking it, which can go against you.

Appreciate Yourself

I've noticed that so many people want to be someone else or devalue themselves. I don't understand the rationale; frankly I don't think there is one for that kind of behaviour. Everyone has something that other people don't have. I'm horrible in writing essays, sciences and mathematics, and I admire those who excell in them, but some people don't appreciate or value the talent and skill they have. I was kind of like that, but after going to Quebec I've learned to appreciate myself more. I encourage everyone else to find the talent, quality, or skill they have. Use those virtuously for your own advantage, whether for personal or professional life.

Consistency and Commitment Reward You

Whatever your goal is, if you want it, you must commit and be consistent. I wanted to lose some weight so committed 4 days per week for the gym, and (OMG) IT WORKED (and still does)!!! Do not think that you can get anything by just saying. HELLO, OF COURRRRSE it's easier said than done. You choose: Do the work or be the jerk.


2009 Expect


I hope I've experienced the worst. I do not wish to experience something horrifying again. No, I don't, and I'm serious. However, after this transition, I'm more optimistic and thankful about life, personal and professional and academic. Suddenly being too confident like before isn't a smart move. I can only build my future and confidence in small increments. It might not be that great, but that's what I want. I don't know what 2009 holds for me. But I can bravely face the future. Papers, finals, MUN, Netherlands, Valencia, Europe, work, graduate school, and many more.

A Town Where You Can See the Ocean

During my shift I was really bored. There were no guests coming in or out of the building. Honestly, I've never ever been that bored during my shift. I guess since it was starting to be December, and snowy, people are just leaving I decided to do some youtube-ing, which I shouldn't have been doing.

I came across this music piece from Kiki's Delivery Service (again): A Town Where You Can See the Ocean (海の見える街). It's by Joe Hisaishi (久石譲). Every time I listen to this I think of... Valencia, imagining myself voyaging through the medieval streets of the city. This music just has this excitement, curiosity, and joy of traveling and exploring. It totally has an European feel. And it actually has a Spanish flavour to it when performed on the classical guitar.

I guess it can be related to any destination that I've never been to, like The Hague, Netherlands, where I'll be going in March for World MUN. It'll be my first European country I've ever been! Honestly, this year has been pretty good to me. I'm just happy that I was more involved in school

Preparation. Return. Countdown.

As I wait for my food to cook before going for exercise, I'm also cleaning the room and preparing things I want to take back to Taiwan.

My Italian friend once told me that his mom said that people who clean their rooms regularly to maintain order in their own personal space are clean in their soul and life.

Um. Hmm. I clean my room, but I wouldn't concur with the "clean soul and life" part of the statement. But sometimes cleaning my room gives me a great sense of immediate accomplishment. Like, you're in control of your life, and your action is rewarded immediately.

Pick up dirty socks and clothes ---> room less dirty

Rearrange books and stationary items ----> more aesthetics on the bookshelf

Vaccuum the carpet ----> healthier personal environment

Il y a beaucoup de vêtements que j'ai déjà mises, mais maintenant ils sont trop grands pour moi, parce que j'ai perdu beaucoup de poids. Je vais les apporter à Taïwan, pour mon papan, parce que... um... parce qu'il a pris du poids.

Sé que quedo solamente para 3 semanas en Taiwán, pero pienso que es suficiente para visitir mis parientes y amigos. Estoy emocionado.

但是要走之前, 還是得要把一些事情處理. 開會, 面試, 和更多活動

倒數11天

Reminiscence. Friends. Growth

I was reminiscing few hours ago. I remembered the time I had in high school, and I compared and contrasted with that of university.

Both are definitely different. I'm not talking about academics, but social life.

People who have known me since elementary, middle school, or high school will find me a happy person all the time. It is true, I was happy and somewhat airy. But, like any other adolescent, I didn't have all so fabulous time in high school. No, I was not depressed; I just want to clarify that I did somewhat struggled to associate with my peers. I did not associate or hang out with people I didn't like, thanks to my observant quality and good judgement. Yet, that did not prevent me from hateful comments or rumors against me.

I tried really hard not to let those comments affect me, but it was really hard when things were so obvious and that I can point things out easily. I was somewhat self-conscious of my actions, behaviour, words, and many more. I felt I started to be about pleasing people, which let to some discomfort.

While I was in high school, I was really positive that I was a very approachable, warm, kind-hearted boy, but yet there were some peers, students, teachers, and faculty members who expressed some disatisfaction or distaste against me. I actually felt that I had social problems, as if I was a distant, cold, mean-hearted person.

But thank goodness high school was only four years. Ever since coming to Canada, I've learned and grown to be a better person. Quebec was my first stop and I made lots of friends, same with Toronto and again in Sherbrooke. I've learned I was not the one who had problems. I made friends easily and people are happy to see me. It's not my problem that people don't like me. That's their problem. With this in mind, I have rebuilt and regained the confidence I had lost.

I'll be going back to Taiwan, and I will visit Morrison, since I was there for 12 years. I know there will still be some people who did not like me, and not surprisingly they will be talking things about me. Wether they are good or bad, I don't care.

I'm only visiting the Morrison I know, which only includes the people I care and those who cared for me.

Lo Quiero Actualmente?

I just went over my exchange application today. It's really somewhat a hastle. I need departamental confirmation, but with the strike it's really really hard to get a hold of the academic people, since all academic activities are suspended. And so far, ha, a lot of the administrators or secretaries aren't very student-friendly, which means I will have a problem getting a hold of those directors or advisors.

In addition to that, let's say if I do get to go to Spain, well, more questions pop up:

Where do I live? Residence or share an apartment with strangers? How do I find it?

Do I need to open a bank account? What will I need to do it?

How will I adjust to the lifestyle?

Will I find other Canadians or English-speaking people who are like me?

How much will I spend?

What do I do once my year is over: move back to Canada or travel? For how long?

What will happen to me? Will I enjoy my time?

Will I be able to face the biggest challenge I have up to this point of my life?

Con estas preguntas, tengo miedo.

Do I really want this?

Do I really want to spend time and money for this when I have so many concerns and when so many things need to be considered?

People see the good side of this experience, but bad things can happen too! If something bad or wrong happens, um, it's not like my good friends are easy to contact or available to listen to me.

But, as Spanish always say:

Qué será,

Será.

I can only go ahead and finish the application.

B.U.M. Energy. Deseos. Book Eater.

I have been such a bum these days since the strike. I have no motivation. I have four papers that are supposed to be due during this period, but I've only finished one, well, almost one. I hate this feeling. I am actually starting to stress out. Yes, I sound stupid, but really I do. I don't know when the strike will end, and when it does, DUN DUN DUN, all papers are due at the same time!!! Not good. I really want to start, but what's the point when you have the feeling that this "vacation" will continue for like... eternity? Really, this isn't great, but I MUST. MUST. MUST do it!

Other than that, I've been back to the GYM!!! I am happy! It's so good to keep my heart rate up and gain energy! I just like to be in a closed space where I don't have to worry about time, and where I see everyone is working, working, working, serious about their act, and no fooling around.

Additionally, I've been working on my exchange and internship application for next year and the following summer, respectively. I hope I get to go to University of Valencia for internship AND for exchange. That would mean that I'll be live in Spain for a year! A year! Just enjoying life and the sun and partying along with speaking and improving my Spanish. I can't wait. I am really excited. I hope the interview can be now so I can just get it over. I have some feeling that I have a great chance to get it. Professor Martinez and Fonseca have assured me, and my other friends in my classes are confident too. I hope it comes true. That would be such a life experience! Even if only one or neither come true, well, what can I say? I still need to move on, however disappointing it will be. But that just mean that I can still take some courses I like here at York and be more active with student clubs. We'll see.

(But I do want to go to Valencia!)

I also am reading books. I just finished reading The Notebook. I'm currently reading Penguin's Book of Canadian Short Stories. It's actually really nice to read. I'll just read a story a day. I'm also catching up on my university readings, especially political theory. Honestly, the professor is good, but the material is dry, dry like a pretzel, like turkey white meat. Who cares what Socrates said? Why should we study Plato and Aristotle when it is so evident and clear that their theories are so flawed? Sigh, I'm never into those abstract ideas. Additionally, I'm going to read Sense and Sensibility, The Da Vinci Code, The Silence of the Lambs, and The Subtle Knife. Yes, that's a lot, but hey who says I can't finish them?

Most important thing I'm doing now is planning to go back to Taiwan. I haven't been back for one and a half years. Though just back for three weeks, I am still excited. I can't wait to see family members, friends, and the environment I grew up. I've been told that so much has changed. It's really interesting how things can change in a short period. Most importantly I am escaping from the cold! Yes, hot hot sun. Warmth. Heat. Lovely. Hope to see all the ones I care.

Salut

Bonjour.

C'est moi.

Olivier.

J'ai déjà fait le blogging avec le Xanga, mais je pense que c'est une bonne idée que je le fais encore avec autre blog.

C'est une nouvelle expérience, je pense.

Bon, ce blog est sur de ma vie universitaire à l'Université York.

Vous peut-être me demandez, "Pourquoi écris-tu en français lorsque tu étudies en anglais?"

Je sais pas. Pour moi, j'aime parler et écrire en autre langue. Je connais aussi l'espagnol, le chinois, et le taiwanais. Parfois, je peut-être écris en une des langues quand je veux.

Merci de lire ce blog.

Je retournerai avec autres choses, comme des photos et des histoires.

À plustard.